Ha Finally a BLOG! :)

Hello everyone!! :) Soooooo, looks like its been some time since i last posted a blog!!! Well guess what???? I finally did one after such a long time! Of course..... i have several motives on why i am posting a blog a again haha!!! Well, first of all, is because my final exams are around the corner and i am stressed out!!!! Soo i decided to make a blog just to cool myself down temporary!!!!!!! I guessssss :/ But still i feel better doing so then just stare at unending amounts of lecture slides and revision!!!!!!!!!! Hardest unit soo far???? ACCOUNTING INFORMATION SYSTEM!!!!! Most annoying unit soo far? COMPANY LAW!!!! OMG THAT IS ONE TEDIOUS UNIT! HAHA ohhh well~~~~~ You got to understand the hardships on getting a degree T.T!!!!! But still~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thats not just why i am posting this blogs!!!!!!!! Of course i have other motives LOL!!!! ;) Well, the other reason.... BEAR WITH ME!!!!!!!! IS BECAUSE...... BECAUSE......... BECAUSE!!!! I FINALLY MADE UP MY MIND!!!!!! LOL!!!!! Sounds rather vague ehhh???? WELL...... i mean some people have been telling me that i am too lovesick lol~~~ Well yea obviously i will be lovesick... considering i had a crush on a girl for 5years.... yea of cause that is lovesick LOL!!!!!! Well back to the topic..... Yes... i finally made up my mind! By finally making up my mind, i really mean that yes.... i will try my best to win back the girl that i had a crush on! Yes... It is serious now guys~~~~ THE WAR HAS BEGUN!!!!!!!!!!!! Well~~~~~~~ i don't really want to keep that thought in my brain because i am having my exams now... Thats why i rather let it out now so i feel a lot more comfortable when i am studying later. But yes, i will fight to win the girl! I WILL!!!!!!!! OK!!! I am serious now lol! SCREW the SHYNESS LOL! SCREW BEING SCARED OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN LOL! I mean in all honesty, i rather try doing something while i still can rather than sit around at home and regret opportunities that come by! Like before, all my insecure feelings over a girl that hasn't even rejected me yet and thinking all the worst possible conclusion are honestly just making me really PISSED RIGHT NOW LOL! Like wtf was i doing before LOL! I feel like that is the most childish crap i have ever seen in my life LOL! Whats there to be scared of LOL!!!! I mean its just asking LOL!!!! Its not like i will get thrown to a pool filled with piranhas if i fail LOL!!!! Its like if the worse case scenario happens, then i'll just find another girl lol. Simple as ABC lol. Plenty of fishes out at the sea, just gotta find one that wants to bite the bait thats pretty much it LOL! Yea..... So DING DANG DONG! I WILL DO WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO DO LOL! Its a fact, why sit alone in your room crying like its your last day on earth when you are not even rejected yet LOL! Till now i am still wondering how much of a pussy i am LOL! Like seriously.... Where are my balls HAHA!!!! I am thinking about it right now... Like how am i ever going to talk to a girl if i don't even try to LOL! Like all this time i have been pussying out of every opportunity that comes to me and rejecting everything that might benefit me LOL! I am like being too weak haha. If i am scared of talking to my crush, i don't even wanna think on how i would even protect a girl LOL! Thats like just plain stupid lol. In class i am the number 1 talkative kid and can't even talk to my crush LOL!!! THATS SAD HAHA! Number 1 joker in class that can make anyone laugh, and can't even try to make my crush laugh LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!! ITS ALL SET LOL! I WILL DO THIS TONIGHT! REMEMBER THIS DAY! 14/6/2014! THE DAY I WILL FINALLY ASK THE GIRL I HAVE A CRUSH ON OUT!!! YES EVERYONE!!!! ITS OFFICIAL! I WILL DO IT! I don't care how, i don't care what the reply would be i am just going all gunz blazing!!! IF U HAPPEN TO READ THIS CRUSH, GET READY CAUSE I WILL DO IT! The only problem i have is that i hope she is still single LOL!!! If she has a boyfriend this whole post is a waste of time LOL! OH WELL!!!!!!! I MEAN I RATHER GET REJECTED WHILE SHE IS SINGLE THEN GET REJECTED IF SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND LOL! CAUSE IF I GET REJECTED WHEN SHE IS SINGLE IT WILL ONLY BE AN ARROW TO THE HEART. GETTING REJECTED WITH A BF.... HO HO HO.... THATS LIKE BROKEN HEART x2! YEA...... GIRL YOU BETTER GET READY CAUSE I WILL DO IT! Pretty sure i gave out all the clues already... You would kinda know who you are LOL! Well..... TBH my previous posts already gave out the answer LOL! SOO YEA ITS U!!!!! HAHAHA :) Ok!!! GOOD LUCK GUYS!!! STUDY HARD AND PEACE OUT!!!! :)

Is love really fate?

I have been thinking this for hours, days, months and years. Is love really fate? The ideology of love is that when a boy is in love with a girl and would do anything to be with her, vice-versa. However, is it really fate? What i mean is if the girl or boy you meet done by fate or is it actually done by your actions? Do actually plan love? Or does love come to you? I claimed every time i think of a girl for a long time means i love her. When i dream, i would simulate in my mind that she was actually thinking of me or wanting to talk to me but is shy. However, in reality things turn out soo differently than what i thought in a dream. The girls don't seem to come out as what i pictured. I kept telling myself that one day a girl that i love would actually love me back. First girl i ever interacted with and liked a lot already had a relationship before i actually found her through a social website which was 8years after i did not see her. In that 8 years that i have not seen her, i actually thought of her and planned on making her my girlfriend and continue what we had not finished. I even thought that she would also be thinking of me and trying to find details and whereabouts of me. As i got her details though, she did not seem to care much about anything when i typed to her. I felt really strange inside me. Did she really forget me completely, or has she not had any interest in me at all. just as i wanted to ask her out, she told me she wasn't in the country i was anymore and that she had gone back to her hometown to continue her studies. She told me she might come back to finish the university. The feeling that i felt on the way she typed really broke my heart. I did not dare to type to her anymore.This was definitely not fate in my opinion. Well same thing happens to my secondary school crush. I met this girl on my first year of school when i saw her as a unique individual because she was the girl that caught my eye and was the first girl that new school that i could not stop staring at. The pinnacle of the crush was in secondary school after a classmate of mine starting spreading rumours that i liked her. Everyone in the school knew about it and i started getting attention from the entire school. Even people that i did not know knew who i had a crush on. One day, during recess, i asked her for her number, she completely rejected me and ended up with her friend writing the number on my hand. However, i did not remember that number because i knew it did not came from her. As soon as i reached secondary three, my friend rumoured with me that she was going to end up in my class. At that time i took the chance for granted and actually did not talk to her or find a chance to talk to her. I wonder if that was fate that she ended up in the same class as me or was it just that we had the same standard in terms of our results. Well, it did not really matter much as that was the time when i dated a girl with the longest hair in class at that time, which currently is one of her best friends now. I wonder if that was a sign if she actually liked me. I don't know but during that time as well she never showed any signs of liking me at all which made me thought that she had 0 interest in me which till now i am still wondering if she actually didn't want to talk or if she was just too shy to talk to me. But why me? Why was i the one of all the other guys in the school which she never spoke to? This i wonder, is it fate or was it just bad luck. Was something trying to tell me to completely give up on her or not to give up on her. Well, the girl i dated ended up with my friend who came from China and they later broke up as well. Well, as for the girl i had a crush on, we actually went out on an outing together. However, we really didn't talk to each other once in the outing. I really wanted her to talk to me but i knew it was better for me to keep quiet and respect a girls decision. The strange thing thought was that she kept taking pictures of me which was the awkward part as i did not expect soo many pictures to consist of me. That was the time when i actually thought about her hard again. Then i moved to overseas to study. I actually wrote to her in the internet and she responded back but the problem was, she wrote in a way which she wants to end the conversation as soon as possible with lol, haha, ok. That was one of the saddest feelings after i knew i would get rejected if i continued to type to her. So i stopped typing to her. Every year on my birthday, she did not ever said happy birthday to me. She would rather do it on someone else. Well, guess thats no longer fate in my opinion but, a strange feeling told me that she actually wanted me to start a conversation with her. Well, i don't know if love is really fate is it just a saying to make people believe it is fate so that people might think they have a higher chance of getting the girl they have a crush on. Well, personally i feel that only the best looking individual with an intellectual mind could end up with anyone they want. Still, i watched a lot of movies about love being fated(yes it is a movie, but it is possible to apply to real life as well). I wish though that my life could be a movie for once, i want to feel like how the characters in the story feel. I want to do things that is only possible in a movie. I want to really want to feel, touch, see and enjoy love for once like how the characters felt in the movie. Well, i will end this post for now. I might continue this as this is actually not the end of the post. Well i want you to think for yourself, is it actually fate that made you end up with the person u like or was it just because of your sheer confidence or the other parties confidence that made you end up with each other. Whatever it is, the choice is yours to make.

New Post :D

Hi everyone :D hahahahahahhaha!!! Soo going on a vacation does really allow my mind to explore the vast possibilities and opportunities that i can actually have in the future. I realised thinking of a crush during your secondary school days is completely useless and not productive when the fact that the other party does not take any interest in you. This to me shows that i have to move on and definitely dreaming does give you hope in the future to come. Maybe its fate or maybe it might be pure coincidence i might not know, but maybe what i am thinking now might actually come true in the future. I dreamt a lot for the past 17 years of my life, and i realised some dreams do actually come true. Some dreams might be exaggerating like having a supermodel as your sister or being Bill Gates son, but some dreams like getting an electronic product or finding the right soulmate is possible. This might not be entirely possible but some parts might fit in with what you expect it to happen. Yes, i do believe that dreams can come true. Some if you dream hard but some if you take action towards it. To me, thats how i set my goals. When i dream, i would continue to dream even after it had already reached its climax. That allows you to know the consequences of your dreams. Some might be good but some might be bad. Although there would be consequences, it definitely sets you on course for your goals in life. Maybe your goals might be a life long goal, short term goal or maybe even a new years resolution to change your current life. Yes, i have thought long and hard about my life, and i have realised that theres a reason why the Earth is enormous. Its because if the world is small, you will never learn. So when i dream, i dream big. That allows me to feel that i have two lives. I life in another life. Theoretically, it is similar to inception but the difference is that the world is completely under your control and you can change the scenario in your own will without others disturbing it. To me, a dream is me living a life in my mind at night and a reality is me living a life with actual people with their own mindset. There is also a third life for me. That is the virtual life. It is the life within a life powered by electricity and satellite with a computer brain. Pretty much means that its a life that you can have but requires energy from the help of the host and the host controlling the brain of the life. This life is in-between your dreams and reality. This is pretty much what you can call as the middle-man. This life allows you to live your own life and also interact with actual people as well. This is more like inception except that its not powered in your brain but from another brain. Yes this might sound difficult, but when you think about it, you will get it as well. So what i am trying to say is, if A is a failure, there is always a B that you can dream about, or a C or a D or an E, etc. Soo if maybe the girl you like might not like you back, don't get disheartened, there is always another girl you can get. Or maybe if your results in a game is terrible, there is always a play again or play another game. Or if your results are not satisfactory, there is always another exam you can make up with. So in my scenario, being on vacation, i have seen many types of girls, some are the innocent but not attractive, some are innocent and attractive, some are attractive but nasty and some are just plain fail. This allows me to understand that girls after all are not scarce or little, its just the matter of whether things will work out or not. So just keep dreaming folks, maybe the girl or guy of your dreams might appear in reality. When it does, make most use of it. I have regretted missing chances and opportunities like that and i would like to make the most out of it in the future. You Only Live Once :D

URGHHHHH STRESS

So today was pretty stressful. I have to hand a Report for Communications on Monday, have Economics and Business Math test on Tuesday. On Wednesday i have to hand in my Oral Presentation source for Communications. On thursday, i have to do a marketing Presentation. It is going to be a long week. I have have trouble communicating with the student advisor..... But i hope everything would be awesome when i come back Singapore on 16th september. I am still deciding if i should type to Yu wan on Facebook to have my chance on her or actually hang out with a female friend in my marketing class more often. I am in a dilemma..... I got to be honest though..... If Yu wan actually messages me in Facebook, she would be the first priority. I don't know why when i see Yu Wan in the past, i would be speechless once she is around my sight. This is still a mystery to me. But i know everything would be alright. The main thing is to pass all my Subjects in Curtin.... I know i will pass Business Math and Communications202. However, i need to work hard on the Report. Then comes Economics and Marketing. These two subjects might have a lot of information. But if i took time to revise or work on it, i would probably ace it. At this moment that i am typing this blog, Foo Yu wan is online on Facebook..... Gosh.... i want to type to her... But i am afraid she would reply me in short messages or if she already has a boyfriend. Urrghhhh.... Oh well...... If i get Yu Wan, its fate then haha. :D Well i am done typing this haha :D Hopefully i would be more active in this blog again haha :D

Cannot Believe I Am Posting This

As all of you know, i have not posted in my blog for more than 3 years now. Some of you might be the people i know and some of you are random people that looks in my blog. However, i want to say that it has been an honor that people do actually read my blog. Anyways, i am sick and tired of holding this crap in my head. I want to talk to someone about this, but i realized that i am all alone, in a new country. As much as i have new friends in the new Country, i still cannot forget about my Secondary School crush. As much as i want to forget it, i cannot. I cannot just tell my new friends about this as they wouldn't even know who she is. I got to admit, i have Secondary School friends i am still in contact with. However, they had asked me to forget her already and move on with my life. I just cannot... I have a horrible day today already. Firstly, i cannot sleep well because i am very stressed up. Being in Australia and studying here is not as carefree as i think it would be.... Secondly, i am on a losing streak in a game called League Of Legends(LoL) which is in ranked games. They ranked me by elos and my elos are dropping tremendously low..... Thirdly, i want to move out of my current homestay but i feel bad doing so and i have been avoiding this topic for a long time now.... Fourthly, i have not been doing much productive work for my college and i feel bad about it..... I am just too lazy to do so as i use all my time playing games and watching movies. I don't even want to eat much anymore.... I don't want to exercise anymore. This makes me feel very lousy.... Lastly, which also happens to be the most serious part is that, i still think of my Secondary School crush. As much as you know, i did some post about her a few years back.... I could still remember the first time i had a crush on her... She had a build which was similar to mine... I liked her cause she was out going like i was. Always happy and hanging around with everyone. The only problem that made me soo far away from her than was that i was soo shy... Every PE class when i was secondary 2, i would look at her the whole day and stare at her. Then when i arrived at secondary 3, the best feeling of my life happenned. She was in my class. This means that i could look at her everyday. I felt really happy. Many times i wanted to talk to her, but i failed to because i was too shy. I was soo shy that i would avoid her when she comes close to me, i would avoid her when she was talking or if she was facing my direction. I sensed that she felt that i am no longer interested in her. Then i realized she started avoiding me as well. This made me gave up one her..... Then Secondary 4 came.... I had a long holiday soo when i saw her again, i started to like her again.... I looked at her again everyday. Tried to stalk her when she was going to the canteen. I would beg for her to be in the canteen during recess so that i could get a glimpse of her. When i went out with my friends and gossiping about liking girls and other stuffs, all i would think was her. However, when i am near her i would have a similar feeling of avoiding her..... I felt horrible... In August of 2011, me, my friends and her went to sentosa together. I wanted to impress her and avoiding her at the same time just to show that i wasn't interested in her... But honestly, that was the day i screwed up soo bad. I accidentally hit her with a frisbee she bought. It made me feel bad. Then i wouldn't be with her and walk with her..... I was just a shy loser. I want to say i really could have done something... But noooo, i had to avoid her. I wouldn't even buy a birthday present to her.... I knew that around that week was her birthday. I know she loves a korean band which was SS501 i guess. I heard that it was disbanded by the way. However, i didn't buy her anything and bought a birthday present for another friend... I wouldn't even dare say happy birthday with a crush for 4years... Makes me feel soo bad.... That was the last time and first time i was soo close with her.... When she was taking pictures and stuff, i would avoid it to show defiance with her... But deep down all i wanted was to take pictures with her... I had to make things soo complicated by avoiding taking pictures with her just to "show" her i wasn't interested with her.... But really, I just like her a lot.... I cannot believe i was such a dick... Soo when i finished my huge examination, which apparently was O'levels. I saw her again. Yet i never texted her or talked to her..... To be honest, i did random text messages to her in Secondary School. Soo yea, when i moved to Australia, i realised i was such a dickhead... Then i told her i was sorry in facebook... She was ok with with but i do think she treats like a friend which was the least i wanted her to think of me. All the time i was a dickhead.. I do deserve it. Then when i was coming back to Singapore, i msged her in Facebook again. I told her i wanted to meet up with her for lunch... She said maybe... That made me excited... But when i arrived in Singapore, she was having her exams and camp, soo i didn't want to disturb her... I don't know if she doesn't want to go out with me or she is really busy, but i really do respect her decision. After that, i nvr msged her again... I starting doubting myself again if i should Facebook with her.... Its been 7months since i last saw her... Anyway, I want to tell her i still like her a lot and i really want to try talk to her...... For once, not being scared. If this could happen, it would really be a miracle... The good news is i am coming back Singapore in mid September... The bad news though is that its after her birthday and that i don't know her schedule.... I am starting to become shy in msging her in facebook..... This girl that is in my mind for a really, I mean REALLY long time, is Foo Yu Wan. Yes, i was soo shy to type this name for a long time, but for once i want to feel good typing this name for once... I only get to live once only, must well do this, its better than sitting in my room everyday staring at a computer and not hanging out in a new country i am living in. I know that if i actually make her my girlfriend one day, it will be a long distance relationship... I know it will be hard... But i know it will work... If she isn't my girlfriend, at least i know i posted this on my blog and look at it 10 years and say, hey i did this before.... Then i would get emotional and tell to myself, i lost her once, i would not lose any other girl i have a crush in. Yes, this girl is the girl that i actually have a lot of feelings for. If she still does remember me or this blog, she would be reading this post now... And this is the time i tell her, I <3 you... Really... We have not gone out much, but really, i know a lot about you... I really do... Anyways, i already bought her a birthday present... Its only a matter of meeting her and giving it to her or just let the gift rot in my drawer for the rest of my life.... It all depends on fate then... YOLO people..... Raymond Putra.

after exactly 1 month here i post!

Lol sry if i had not posted for 1 month le. I was too addicted to sudden attack that i rather use the time blogging and facebook to play this game. LOL! I just wanna say that i hate homeworks in the sep holidays T.T!!!! well HUU CARES!!!!!!!!! JUST DO AND PLAY LOR! LOL! Well, i don;t really know what to post but i do know that there is math homework but to lazy to put down the questions lol! Well only for my CLASS!!!! there is also tp homework,basics homework and science homework!!! DO WELL HOR!!!( i actually not intersted in these homework stuff but hu cares)=P!!!! hehe! =.=!!! WELL ERRR the class blog website is wenotnerdyokay.blogspot.com... just go hor! BB!!! I WANT TO GO PLAY SUDDEN ATTACK LE!!!!

DAMN I FEEL SOO EXCITED

OMG OMG OMG!!!! 5 more days to LADY GAGA CONCERT!!!! RAWR!!!! OMG!!! NICHOLAS GOT READY HIS STUFF AND GOING TO SLEEP OVER AT MY HOUSE!!!!!!! YAY!!! WOOT!!!! BEEN SOOO LONG SINCE I HEARD THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOING TO WATCH MOVIE tomorrow with nicholas and faruq. Sunday going to watch movie with my cousin. Monday i am goign to slack with my cousin. Tuesday i gotta study. Wedsnday is lady gaga!!!! Thursday is common test... sianzzzzz. friday also... 1 WHOLE WEEK LE!!! LIKE THAT>>>> OOO!!!! Well gotta wait for my cousin to come singapore today so BYES!!!!!